I went to work at 6:35am.
I broke my right hand, (but not really.)
It was bleeding and I couldn't grip the tongs.
"Lets fill out an accident report to be safe."
I don't need medical attention.
But I have a spanish midterm in 2 hours.
I can't write it if I can't grip a pencil.
I need a doctors note to get it excused.
But since I was injured "on the job," I must go to the workman's comp doctor.
Wasted an hour of my life just to get a note that reads:
"Unable to write or grib[*it should say grip*] with this hand for 24-48 hours."
I leave and return to school, only to get into a car accident.
In the student parking lot, of all the places.
Technically it was my fault.
I "failed to yield to the right of way."
Which resulted in my car colliding with only the hubcap of a pickup truck.
The entire front of my car disappeared and my lisence plate is like melted.
The cops were called.
The paramedics checked me out, but all that hurt was my hand.
The cop tells me I've been a brave girl for not crying on the floor as he writes me a 138$ ticket.
Then he drives me to my dorm where I like a complete wreck.
I get up into my room only to discover that I have my period, a week early.

Mom says to me "Do you think that you're just going too fast?"
Yes mom, Yes I am. I need to slow down enough that I'm not doing anything.
I need to do it soon, or I'll explode.

Oh what a glorious day it has been!


 

so I went to log on in the hopes that expressing my feelings would make me feel better, but because my computer hates me, i spent all of my emoitions screaming at my computer, but I plan on really expressing them at some later point.

long story short: my father's a fucking db.

i remember when i first went to LOC
Glen told us to "trim our trees"
and i could really use some shears right about now.

so I was finally able to cry today.
and now i feel like i should keep going.
but i cant.
i didnt take my meds last night.
so thats definately part of it.
but now im back on them.
and i cant.

i need to talk to someone.
i need to be loved by someone.
and i need something new.
i need to see my goo.

i need everything.

So today i went to the doctor,
i tore a ligament of some sort in my shoulder,
and due to the stress ive put on it, i
ve caused a muscle tear in my pectorial. LMFAO.
School today was pretty much a joke. as usual.
next week is finals, im soo not looking forward to that one.

i had work tonight.
took my drugs when i got there.
biggest mistake. i gots really sleepy.
some guy said something
and i almost started to cry.
he apologized, but still.
i felt really shitty the rest of the night.
so widler went and bought me a red bull.
man o man i havent had one of those in a LONG TIME.

anyways, came home
worked out/ Gazzelled it,
while watching television.
took a shower.
and now im here ; ]

So im on my tenth sinus infection this year (starting august i mean).
The family doctor did nothing, the ENT did nothing, but the allergist did everything.
I had an appointment at cock-a-doodle-doo o'clock in the morning.
Had to do allergy tests. Oh what joy it brings, more needles.
I got 40 shots all over my back and 8 in my arm.
And the results are in...

Severely allergic to cats Mom says shes getting rid of me, not the cats.
Mildly allergic to dogs [saliva] dad says hes getting rid of me, not shasha.
^can we feel the love^
Highly allergic to feathers <who knew?
^can you be allergic to goldfish, cause then we have all the household animals covered^
Severely allergic to Southern Grass <got to love Texas....
Highly allergic to Northern Grass
^they got me wherever i go.
Severly allergic to oak leaves, trees and roots
Mildly allergic to dust
^who isint?^
Highly allergic to dust mites
^yes those m*effers are real and scary^
highly allergic to pollen (trees and plants in spring, weeds in fall)
Highly allergic to mold

my life is just ohhh so interesting. Not.
No animals in my rooms.
No lying down on floors
Need new carpets.
No yard work : ]
and im getting a note to get out of gym sports that are played in grass.
[Muy Emocionada]

Jason came over today.
Had a ball with him as usual.
everyones just drifting apart these days. its so sad.
we watched crank
he straightend my hair
gave each other back rubs
[scratches for me]
watched the punisher. wayyy awesome
ate dinner
talked
role played as gangastas and camera whores.
he left 
and then i was alone.


I miss ken. alot.
i keep crying, and wishing it was april already....
mom says im depressed
but i havent slept in 3 days and feel like i could go on forever
doctors define that as mania.
i am tired, but no matter what i do i cant fall asleep. 
hence the update at 2:37 am.

So i wish that he wasn't engaged.
He really has no idea, how much he means to me.
He thinks this is all some joke?
But he makes things easier strangely. 
I am soo confused.....?

this song makes me sad.